we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
