I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
