hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
