it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
