I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
