i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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