pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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