3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
