Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've blown a few things in my day
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
