saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
