I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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