The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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