Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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