Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize