Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
