either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have post one night stand depression
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
