It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
