is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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