Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
