im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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