I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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