alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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