I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
