Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
