She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
