so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
