I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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