Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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