btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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