when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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