Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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