Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
