i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
