Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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