Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
