Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
