I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
