i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Are we still banned from the library?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
