there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
