Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
your room smells of hookers.
And success
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
