Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
