I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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