Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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