YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
