Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
