so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
