I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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