I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
