If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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