It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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