bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
