Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
