oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Randomize
