No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
