I hate your face
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
