whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize