He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
