so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
