I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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