she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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