I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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