hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize