yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
