I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
