I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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