It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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