the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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