I wanna bring you to show and tell
one two three fourrrrnication!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize