Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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