don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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