Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
