they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize