yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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