I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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