Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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