Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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