the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
