maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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