I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I touched a dick in church today
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
