the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
